Frankie’s pregnancy was a very much planned as much as a surprise as we had been trying for 2 years and lost a pregnancy a year before. The moment I surrendered to thought of Craig and I not possibly conceiving, Frankie blessed us on our amazing holiday at Turon Gates on my birthday, however we did not discover her pregnancy until Easter Day. Immediately I called Jo Hunter, a midwife I had dreamed of having from the moment I met her at one of Jane Hardwick Collings workshops. She was happy to take me on, however she was going away for the end of my pregnancy and planned to be back approx a week before my due date. My husband Craig knew that my dream was to birth at home and he supported me and we moved into a place that I felt more comfortable to birth in and have my 28 day lay in for. I had dreams of a wonderful pregnancy full of beautiful hormones and glowing like a goddess!
My two previous pregnancies had been 22 & 27 years earlier and didn’t my body remind me of this. I was challenged with hyperemesis the entire pregnancy, PUPP from 17 weeks, an early bleed, a low lying placenta, the Flu for 4 weeks, torn intercostals, a hip that gave me grief to walk, another bleed at 33+5 weeks which started the contractions that continued every day until my labour! Braxton Hicks every one kept telling me! No, these brought me to my knees and usually had a pattern of turning up from 1pm every day until I went to bed around 830pm. We decided to engage a doula, the hilarious Nads, it was one of her pep talks that actually helped me to realize that I had to just surrender to them as fighting them was not helping and then I decided that it was good practice for the labour as I can’t get away from myself now and I won’t be able to then either! So I welcomed them into my day. I also welcomed a fierce group of powerhouse women in my Blessingway way that was held for me by the beautiful Marie at 36 weeks of my pregnancy. This day was one of the most heartfelt, intense days I’ve ever had, the love and strength of the women whom I sat in circle with that day, reminded me of the true divine feminine.
I believe strongly in affirmations and had some big demons to work through in my mind on most days, so I hung up some wonderful cards in my room from one of my previous clients Sara whom has Best Birth Co. I practiced my calmbirth relaxation responses every night, knowing we were not attending the course until 38 weeks due to needing to be completely off call from the women in my care. Craig and I attended the calmbirth course which was fantastic and I really felt that he needed to do this to really feel ready and prepared for our homebirth. At lunch on the last day we were driving to the pond and an all mighty wave of uterine activity brought so much bowel pressure and a strong sensation that made me feel we were having her right then. Not now baby, not at the pond in Bowral. We headed back to the course, I was having waves whilst on all fours on birth ball. The beautiful Karen Jackson rubbed my back and gently whispered you can go to my place if you like, we decided to head home just in case. On Tuesday night I asked Craig to pump
up the pool.
On Wednesday I woke up and realized, I felt amazing. No rib pain, no hip pain, I was hungry and the waves for the first time in weeks seemed to have disappeared. I was so excited and could now easily see myself getting to 42 weeks with enjoyment and comfort, I shared a post telling my baby that I was ready and knew she would come in her own perfect time, I surrendered.
I had so much energy, I cleaned the entire 3 stories of our house. That night I found out my midwife Jo had returned from Perth and I sent her a picture of a GIF happy dance, I asked Craig to put everyone’s numbers in his phone and off to bed I went.
The morning of the 12th December 2019 at 0630 hours I woke to a tremendous sensation in my cervix that threw me out of bed and onto my feet. I raced into the bathroom, had an almighty wave on the toilet and immediately had to get into the shower. Now this had happened before on the many nights/mornings I had contractions in the past though this time I had bright bloody show, Craig came in and I said I think it’s happening, he was dressed for work and I asked him to stay at home for now. The sensations were intense, so the shower was a great place to be, I asked craig to get out the matt and bean bag. I text my Doula Nads just to give her the heads up something might be happening, she said let’s see what the daylight brings. When I got out of the shower Craig put on my TENS which was incredible and I was down on all fours when a few drops of blood kept coming and a big burst of something clear! Now you would think being a midwife I would know if this was my membranes breaking, but I was still uncertain and probably a little in labour land or denial, so I text my midwife and my doula to suggest maybe my waters had gone. Nads called me and I remember her saying, just enjoy it Janine, this I held onto through the next part of my labour, grabbing a few laughs with Craig how I looked like Stevie Wonder when I would flick my head from side to side through each wave.
My midwife Jo was going to head to a visit further up in the mountains and I called her and said yeah you should go to that, then dropped the phone roaring out to Craig, whom was boiling pots and filing pool as we had run out of hot water. Unbeknown to me, Jo and Nads had made a consecutive decision to come as I still thought it was too early. To be honest I had always had a fear of everyone sitting around waiting for me. Craig text my other support crew, my daughters Brooke and Nims, my best friend Zoe and my birth photographer Bec to attend. I lit my mother candle and I began playing some music and our wedding playlist. Before I knew it, I heard Nads voice and with that reassurance that if she’s here I must be in labour I tore off my TENS and said I’m getting into the pool and demanded the music be turned off. The heat, the weightlessness, the protection, the pressure, wow! Immediately I began to roar with so much strength and power, she was coming. It was completely uncontrollable. It was like I was watching someone elses birth from above, though the sensations were all mine, I couldn’t open my eyes, I needed to go deep down beneath the waves that were smashing into the next with no or little breaks. The power of my uterus was overwhelming, I remember saying she’s coming! Nads and craig were amazing, reminding me to breathe and keep it low, however it was so challenging as the power of my fetal ejection was so strong making it near impossible to catch a breath, I was given sips of water and a cold washer to my face which was like heaven. I felt held in my space, completely Undisturbed and respected by Nadine and Craig.
Nads asked if I could put a finger inside at this point I didn’t want to, the intensity was fierce, though I instinctively moved from on all fours to squatting as my baby’s head was coming quickly and I needed to remind her we were doing this together, however she needed to slow down. It was at this point I needed to bring in my affirmation of my pelvis opens easily and I am huge this was important to me as being an older mother this was one of my fears that my body wouldn’t work anymore and I was determined to stay intact. Slow down baby, roared from my mouth, The burn came as quickly as the pressure did, I held my vulva with my hand with all my might to hold her back from flying out with each wave, telling her slowly baby , slowly ! I remember my husband Craig’s support from behind and kissing my neck so gently and tenderly. I was in a trance, an ecstatic state of being between worlds, I am huge, I am huge, I managed to get between waves as the burn became stronger and stronger. Nads asked if I could feel her and yes there was her head right at my opening of my vulva, I could feel the excitement that is so often felt around this time In the birth space when a baby is on view.
Another few more strong waves and she was almost here, Nads said one more wave and Jo will be here. Dexter begun to bark which I knew that Jo had arrived, Her head was almost crowning and in walked Jo with that reassuring, good job darling girl, wipe of my forehead and her head was born, the release of that pressure & burning. I waited for the next wave and reached down and brought my daughter up into my arms, just as I had visualized it. My baby was in my arms, you were in so much of a hurry, I met her with. Your here, we did it. She was covered in so much vernix! Like most waterbirth babies she was uncurling as Hannah Dahlen would say, I was gently blowing on her face, Jo lent in with, she has good tone love, I was still determined for her to snatch that first breath, so I gently gave her a few kisses and little rub and your so cute, with that, a big hello, she cried out, what a precious voice.
Dexter jumped up to greet his sister. I cried out, I can’t believe this is happening to me! I turned to Craig and said baby look, I can’t believe i did it! We waited for Jo didn’t we, you’ve been trying to come for weeks, look at all your vernix! We jumped out of the pool and onto the mat and beanbag, a few strong waves and I asked craig to get me heat pack, whilst he was down stairs I jumped onto all fours resting Frankie on the floor in fri t of me and birthed my placenta! Craig is not a fan of the placenta so subconsciously I feel this was my way of feeling safe and not freaking him out. Not long after Frankie attached to my breast and began her first feed. My best friend Zoe turned up and then Bec, then Brooke and in followed Niomie and my mum. We were tucked up into bed and couldn’t be happier of how things unfolded.
Craig my husband, I will never forget how you made me feel during the birth of our daughter Frankie Dessi Morgan, you held my space with out question, doubt or fear and just in complete love and patience and I will forever be grateful. Frankie meaning “Free One”, you worked with me beautifully, your Sagittarius trait for freedom explains your urgency to be born and I thank you for working with me to slow things down at the end, you are so loved by so many, welcome Earthside my little Archer ♐️ Now begins our fourth trimester
Janine O'Brien :: Independent Midwife
Phone my mobile. 0422 969 961 send me an email. janine@ibirth.com.auvisit my website. www.ibirth.com.au
